Monday, February 13, 2012

Why I Don't Need Roses For Valentines Day

     Everywhere you look about now there are ads screaming out to buy. Buy Roses! Buy Chocolate! Buy Clothes! Buy Negligee! Buy Jewelry! Buy Her Love!!  If you know me at all you know I adore roses and chocolate makes me smile. Sparkling diamonds are so pretty and I happen to really like pretty clothes and negligee.  I don't have a single thing against any of those and most days, most days I'd be delighted to be given a gift of these.

     It's taken a long time and I admit to tears and tantrums even in years gone by.  I bought it.  I bought the lie.  Valentines day.  If he loved me he would. . . . .THAT lie.

   So tonight, the eve before Valentines day I want to talk about why I don't need roses.  I don't want roses, to be honest.  Why I don't need a box of chocolate or diamonds or even a fancy dinner although eating out is always nice.  It doesn't have everything to do with commercialization and the way businesses jack the cost of these goodies up specifically for this holiday.  It has to do with love.  Real, true, lasting, til death do us part, kind of love.

   This afternoon he kept the girls quiet while I took a nap.  He took care of me putting his own desire for a nap aside.  That's love.  I returned the favor later in the day. While I napped he made lunch.  This afternoon he strapped on X-country skiis and for two hours took two of our daughters into the woods in the sunlight of a gorgeous winter day.  He crept through the woods with them instead of speedily leaving them behind and enjoying his own faster pace.  That's love.

  At 3:30 this morning when the dog whined, he took her outside in the winter weather and let me stay in our warm bed.  He did it again at 4:30.  Then at 5:30 he went with a friend to help make breakfast for a local ministry.  That's love.

   It's not just his love for me or for our children that melt me.  It's his love for others.  The way he answers the questions his mom asks so patiently.  The way he will help someone if he knows they need it and he is able, that's love.  It's the way he chooses daily to think of others and to set aside his own desires to put others first. Often that other is me.

   The above are just examples for today.  I would bore you if I continued listing even a weeks worth of things he does that quietly say, "I love you."  But just a few more before I end!

  It's the way he wraps his arms around me in the kitchen and grins a silly grin at me and says, "I love you", after I've done or said something goofy.  The way he puts his hand on my growing belly waiting to feel our newest little one wiggle, whispers it too.  It's grilled cheese at midnight and breakfast sandwiches in the morning.  It's driving me to work to grab five minutes of "just us" time there and back.  It's cleaning up the kitchen before he heads to work so I wake up to less mess.

   He tells me everyday with his words and his actions.  He loves me.  He treasures me.  He thinks I'm funny.  He thinks I'm beautiful.  I don't need gifts given because a calendar hits a certain day and media, movies, etc. say it's time for him to prove his love.  Roses, chocolate, diamonds, lingerie they are all wonderful and if you are given them, I hope they make you smile!

Tomorrow I'm going to be chauffeured to my next prenatal appointment.  He will join us skating and our girls will be delighted.  We will spend the day with our kids and being together is all the gift I need.

Happy Valentines Day,  may all your days be filled with love!!