Monday, October 22, 2007


I've applied for a job at a local hotel. Did I mention that already? Well, I did. And I thought they weren't going to call me because they didn't the morning after. :p Well, they called this morning. I have an interview tomorrow at 5:30. They know I'm not available days. We'll see how it goes.

I know that there really is no other option other than a miracle. And as I've stated otherwise, sitting on my bum waiting for a miracle isn't helping things. The faster I take action the faster things will improve.

I calculated it out and if they really do hire me and really do give 25 hours a week. I would be making just over $1000 a month. Part of me cringes because I know with Pampered Chef that was a possibility with less hours away from home, but then I don't want to do PC again and I would have to spend a lot of time on the phone which while, home, is still unavailable. Kwim?

My goal is for us to be out of debt by the end of 2009. That's a BIG goal. It's a scary goal, because in there is b'day's, Christmas, and a promised trip to Disney when B is 10. Thankfully she turns 11 in March, so we may be able to squeeze the trip in before her b'day and still be good. We want to pay cash for the holiday. It will be our first ever holiday as a family. :) Something really positive to look forward to!

The nitty gritty is H-A-R-D!! It's incredibly hard. I'm so excellent at spending our money $15-40 at a time. At the grocery store, at Walmart, on gifts, just because, etc. I scare me. Christmas scares me. At this moment I don't know how on earth we'll do it. If I get the job at least I can breathe knowing that we can pay the bills and buy gifts!

I have to be honest with you. I'd really like a miracle. God has provided for us time and time again. I'd really like him to do that in a big way and get us out of this mess. But as much as I want that I know it's not what is really best for us. What's best for me. I need to learn this. I need to sweat and cry to pay off the money I've already spent. I need to know this to the depths of my soul, debt is wrong. Borrowing is not biblical. Giving is. I can not give because I have borrowed that equals sin. I am ashamed. But I have hope.

God has brought the Dave Ramsey ministry to us. We are agreed about doing this and I am willing to work, despite my hearts desire to stay home. Despite my fears. That's all.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Chocolate, ebay and Christmas

The truth is chocolate is my cryptonite. Put it in front of me and I cave. I'll hand over hard earned money that I was determined would not be spent with just a whiff of german milk chocolate. So $18. . .*gasp* !$18! dollars later I have a bag, not a huge bag even, but the "large" bag of german chocolate poured thick over toffee then covered in cashews and almonds. YUM. . .but *groan* How could I? It was the heat of the moment, the desire to share and still have lots for me. That means it was greed, pure greed with a dab of buying fever on top. I would not in any other normal circumstances spent $18 on any container of chocolate. Chalk that up for another lesson down TMM Road. (Total Money Makeover)

Then there's today. I thought I'd get a head start on Christmas gifts and found a deal on e-bay. I bid up to $20 for a 5mp HP camera. The bid is at .99 shipping is $12 (Canada post sucks), I'm winning. I leave for a couple of hours, come back and re-read the description since I haven't been out bid and there's 6 hours left. Odd.

Yeah, there's a reason. The camera doesn't work!!! It doesn't turn on. That is not in the headline, it's in the product description at the bottom. *sigh* So it looks like I may be spending $13 on a camera that doesn't work. Peachy. It can sit right next to my other HP camera that doesn't work. Yet another lesson. PAY ATTENTION!!! If it smells like too sweet, it probably is.

And that ties in my Christmas dilemma's. I want to get the girls digital camera's. I still think e-bay is a good way to go. Oh, and Becca wants a telescope. We can do that. Gabi, she'd be happy with markers and paper and something Diego.

I'm frustrated at the moment because we're already into overdraft and Tim got paid officially yesterday. I HATE that. There's more money coming in at the end of the week, but I hate it in the red. Hating it is good from what I read. But how do I do this, is my big question.

Okay, we need to live within our means. That's great. Okay, gonna work on it. . . but working on it isn't working!!! Three weeks in and we still need more money. Just to keep up. FYI I have cut all the frills. We don't have extra phone services, our cell phone is pay as you go, we don't pay for satellite or cable, there's just not a lot there.

It's looking more and more like I'm going to need to get a part time job. I so don't want to do that. I am not good at working and taking care of our home and family. I cherish our family weekends. But it wouldn't be forever, it would just feel like it. I like the short term jobs I've had so far. I wish I could find those once a month! I guess I have so far. But still it's bringing in a little when we kind of need a lot. Especially this month and next leading into Christmas.

Why did I quit Pampered Chef? ?? Oh yeah, because I was tired of doing it. And truly, I'm not sorry I'm done with that, exactly. Just that it would be a more pleasant way to make money than what I'm looking at. "Two double doubles and a cafe mocha coming up." :(


Friday, October 12, 2007

Living now like no one else, so later we can live like no one else.

It was the first day of the rest of their lives. . .

Sounds like a cheesy start to a story but it describes us just about two weeks ago. A friend turned me on to Dave Ramsey and I started looking at his website. Then I requested two of his books from the library. While waiting for those to arrive we drove to Barrie and picked up the workbook for his Total Money Makeover.

I decided to try to live on a cash budget, but we didn't get cash out and implement it right away. So as you may have guessed, in the last two weeks I've blown it big time. But something's different. Instead of just weeping and giving up I'm pushing on.

Wednesday I worked the Provincial election and actually got paid while reading Dave's Financial Peace Revisited. I took notes, even. I studied like a student with an exam coming. Today I printed off the Quickie Budget and Cash Flow Plan to work on with Tim tonight. Yep, he's on board too. We're reading and discussing Total Money Makeover together.

That job with the election? I got it on purpose to put it towards building our $1,000 emergency fund. I'm working Nov. 3 & 4th for the same thing, the Efund and Christmas.

What I don't know can kill me. That hit me hard. Ignorance does not equal innocence! My children are innocent and I am ready to change our family tree so that they learn what I did not, what Tim did not. . .how money works and how to make it work for me.

Solomon wrote in Proverbs "Get wisdom, get understanding". In several verses he says to sell everything and get wisdom or get understanding. It's serious stuff. But above all things guard your heart.

So this is us, starting the journey to living like no one else so we can eventually live like no one else. At this point I hardly dare think about life without car payments, credit card payments or debt, but the mere concept gives me goosebumps!

I don't know if I can do it. I love to shop, love to spend! But I hate the feelings of disgust, desperation, and embarrassment that come with making plenty of money but not having any. I can not do this alone. I need God. Every step of the way. Every time I go into Walmart or the grocery store or go on line to look at Amazon even. I'm scared but I have hope! I'll let you know how it goes.