Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Getting There

I have a destination in mind.  When we travel I'm excited about arriving, but I also thoroughly enjoy the journey.  We see new things, new places, new people and sometimes get to taste new food.  I enjoy that.  I have a destination in mind now too.

I have a healthy me in mind.  I want to hurry up and get there, but it's a long journey there, not an airplane ride with nearly instant results.  Along the way so far I've found I love Falafel pita's (new food), and that I'm enjoying jogging (new things), and even like lifting weights and doing strength training.  I'm considering running a 5K in the fall, that will be a new place.  I now know the names of a few and the faces of all the regulars at the Y in the early morning. 

Sometimes on a trip we reach a place in our travelling where it feels like we'll never ever get there.  It feels like we're barely moving and we'll never make it.  "Are we there yet?!"  That's where I sit right now.  But I know that I will.  I know that I have made progress.  I would have to go backwards to get to where I started.  I'm moving towards my goal.  I'm getting there. 

Weight today 195, total lost 16lbs, and 23 inches. 
Today I walked  doing hills, 2.9 miles in 49 minutes, jogging the last 9 minutes.  That's just today.  I've covered miles and miles in my early morning exercising and despite being in the same place location wise I'm getting there physically. :)

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Where I've Been

The question wasn't asked but I'm going to answer it.  The last three weeks have been. Ugh. Just Ugh.  Mentally, physically and even emotionally, Ugh.  Nothing big and horrible happened.  Just life in general.  But it's in the past.

Tonight I'm looking forward to about two hours of time to myself.  I'm taking a book, a pad of paper and some magazines.  I'm bringing my ipod and am planning to sit at the coffee shop sipping on a tea or a coffee and just relax.  I have a Vision Collage to create.  What do I see for the future, what do I want? What are my goals?  What is important to me, really important?  What motivates me?  Those are questions I need to contemplate and try to answer.  It's been a week since I started thinking about them and I haven't got solid conclusions yet. 

On my journey to a healthy lifestyle I have rebelled, repented and now returned to the path I want to be on.  But that means for the last month I've plateaued.  NOT a fun place to be.  Those around me are dropping, they are succeeding, they are losing sizes and weight and inches.  I feel like I have, but I haven't.  Not in that last couple of weeks.  But I didn't give up.  Three months in and I have not quit.  Wow.  That in itself is remarkable and worth remembering.   I am succeeding.

I'm researching and learning about probiotics, nitrates, lactic acid, glycomes (sp), interval training, and much more.  I'm looking into how to run.  Considering doing the training for a 5k with my girls.  I've been busy. Just not blogging.

I am thankful that my marriage is strong.  My husband is fantastic and our relationship is very good.  I am blessed.  My children are healthy and our relationship is good also.  I love them all so much.  Giving them a healthy lifestyle is something I really want to do and the fact that it is important to me is coming to my attention.  It is not good for mom to eat healthy and kids to eat junk.  I'm also thankful that Tim not only recognizes my desire to move our lifestyle into a healthier one but supports it!  He even likes my homemade granola. 

Sparkpeople.com has been a blessing.  Friends, in real life and those I've never met in person supporting, encouraging and even at times holding accountable each other.  It's free. That is amazing.  I'm reading The Spark, Chris Downie's book, hence the vision collage.  It's good.  Really good.

 Now I need to go switch the laundry, call the girls in for supper and get ready for Awana.  Have a great week!

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Up and Down

The last week I've been up and down emotionally and physically.  Nothing serious or life altering just life in general taking me for a ride.  I added 30 Day Shredd to my exercise plan and ran on a poorer quality treadmill and somewhere in there managed to make both my knees and my left ankle hurt.  That scared me.  What if I get hurt and have to stop exercising?! 

I was so excited to hit 199 and couldn't hardly wait to nail the next few pounds taking me to my next goal.  Then on Sat. and Sunday we ate out.  It was a great weekend, Rebecca was baptised!  Tim's parents took all of us out to eat to a chinese buffet.  I never want to eat at a buffet again.  I feel like I'm wasting money if I don't eat until I'm stuffed.  What a bunch of rot!  It tasted fine but wasn't worth it. 

Monday I walked through most of my cardio and that made me freel frustrated.  When I did run, it hurt. :( So Tuesday I decided to stick with the elliptical.  That didn't hurt!  I was able to do 2+miles without pain.  I left the gym feeling excited. 

Since Tuesdays are Weigh In days I stepped on the scale.  It hadn't budged.  199  What made me so excited last week had me completely bummed and frustrated.  I wanted to blow a raspberry at the scale and punch the wall.  I didn't do either.  So I measured.  Every other time measuring has come through and encouraged me.  I've lost an inch somewhere or other and felt like it was okay, my body was just shifting.  Well, yesterday, not so much.  :(  If I pulled in I could make a half inch difference but that's hardly countable.  So in essence my 5 extra workouts, my dilligence in my food except Sunday (Sat. meal was fine) equalled nothing. 

I am thankful for Sparkpeople.com and for the sparkpeople on there who have friended me.  There were so many kind and encouraging words yesterday.  I knew I was throwing a tantrum but my feelings of disappointment and frustration were real.  I had and have no intention of quitting but I needed to vent.  So I did, and so they encouraged me.  I took a nap, took some time and by evening was in a better state of mind. 

Tim and I talked too.  I can't explain why I didn't lose, but I know that I am still doing the best I can.  He is proud of me.  It's amazing how much that means to me.  My husband and my parents, encouraging words from them just shoot me over the moon. 

I have been taking pictures to chronicle my changes.  I can see slight differences.  I wish I could see major.  I'm a little concerned that while other people see it so clearly, I have to look close.  At least I do see it!!   Also, the size 16s I bought at Goodwill last week that I love, they are baggy by the end of the day.  I'm just so impatient. 

This is week 8 of consecutive exercise.  It feels like forever but when I look at it I can see it both ways.  It's so short a time, and yet such a long time.  Where will I be 8 weeks from now?  I want to see it, I want to know already.  I want to be there. 

I'm hanging on and going to keep going. Perseverance has not been a strong suit of mine in the long term but this is a battle I intend to win, with God's help. 

I'm thankful for today.  Thankful for sunshine and a furnace that works to keep our home warm.  Thankful for Tim's good job that he enjoys.  Thankful for healthy food and the ability to buy it.  Thankful for a workout buddy that keeps coming to get me.  Thankful for lots.