Space to Stuff Ratio equalization attempt #406

It's probably higher than 406, but I'm not counting so that's the number assigned to this attempt.  I am so tired of stepping around, over and beside things that do not have a home or are simply out of their home.  What is WITH my need to collect clutter and not want to give it away?  GRRRRRRR  And worse yet, I've got four other people who do and feel the same.  I did not marry this house and this is "for worse" so I want out! *grin*

We want a dog.  Well, the girls want a dog and I've decided it's a good idea to get one now, although today I'm wondering if I'm totally NUTS!  We have a house so full of stuff there's rarely an empty space and do you know what happens if I manage to create some?  Someone puts something IN it.  We all have this need to fill in the spaces.  What is with that? 

Today I've worked in my own room and in my girls room that the two younger ones share.  I'm not even close to done in either.  It seems to me it's one of those never done things.  I get it *done* and it's undone before the week is out.  I believe it's largely because there is just too much stuff.  But how to choose what to keep and what's gotta go?  I understand emotional attachment to stuff.  The desire to keep it because it's yours and you like it! But really folks?  When the child can't sleep on her bed but sleeps on top of stuffies on the bed, and those toys fill two small white garbage bags??? That's too much.  When the drawers and closet are full but there's still two baskets full of clothes (for two kids) that's too much.  When the closet basket is full of shoes, there are shoes on the floor and shoes in the entryway, that's too much. 

So last week we had a talk, again.  We talked about honoring God and respecting him by taking care of what he's given us.  I told them I will be requiring them to choose some things to give away.  *gasp*  The younger two think this prospect is especially hideous, tears ensued.  But see the above!! 

We can't bring a puppy into a home that is dangerous.  I can't fathom cleaning up after a puppy AND four other people in this house. Not. Gonna. Fly.  So clean it is.  I can make the girls clean.  I can even force myself too, but how, oh someone please tell me how, do I get my husband to?  I think it might be a lost cause.  I guess I'll just keep putting his stuff on his side of the bed.  I do wish the poor man had a garage to put his tools and toys, etc. 

For a moment I fantasize of a larger space, closets! A linen closet, and a pantry cupboard too!  Two closets in the master bedroom, and room for the dressers for each of us.  A closet in the entryway large enough to hold our coats, and an entryway large enough for us all to stand in at the same time.  Bliss! But I know us, we'd just fill it up and stack boxes on the edges (toy room, cough, cough!). 

So once again I'm back to attempting to not horde (OH HELP! Please, not that!) and to be content where I am.  I will work hard to get rid of things we like but don't need so we can enjoy our home.  OH, and I am very very thankful for the sixth pantry cupboard that will hopefully be put together tonight and in my laundry room creating a place to store sheets, blankets and maybe even cleaning supplies! Whoohoo! Thanks to my very mechanically inclined, good at putting things together husband for that. 

I Love My Job

     I love being a mom.  It's what I always wanted to do more than be a teacher, or a nurse, or a writer. I wanted to be a mom.  I dreamed about it, played it with dolls even into age thirteen when most girls have outgrown that.  I lived it vicariously while babysitting some of the cutest kids ever.  However reality is even better than all of that. Yes, honesty makes me also say that it is harder and sometimes worse too, but I still love it. 

     Sometimes I ponder what my passion is, what gets me going more than any other topic, or thought? The one answer I keep finding is this, being a mom.  Homeschooling our girls ties into that since it is an enormous part of that in our life right now.  I would miss so much if my girls were at school all day.  I wouldn't get to listen to them learn to read.  I wouldn't be there to see their face light up when they figure out how to do the math problem that's been driving them crazy.  Someone else would get to smile and tell them, "good job!" when they worked hard and finished reading their first big book, or writing a short story.

     This is the one job that the worker is working themselves right out of a job every time.  My goal as a mom is to train my children to be adults who bring glory to God and contribute to the world in a positive way.  Hopefully someday they too will love being a mom.  The first nearly twelve years of being a mom have flown by and as I'm in the middle of my job I can see that there is an end to this job.  Today I will treasure doing exactly what I've always wanted to do, be the mom. 

    

Thankful

     The month of December passed by in a blur.  Tim had just three weeks off starting December 10th instead of finishing around December 1st as in other years.  Since he was home I offered to work more at Home Depot.  Work I did. So much so that the baking and candy making I had looked forward to all fall didn't happen.  We ran out of time.  I had no energy.  I blinked and the days were gone. 

     It's already the sixth of January and we are most of the way through our first week back at school.  The house is messy but starting to improve.  Today is my third day off of three in a row and my peace is slowly returning.  I am happy to be home.  Yesterday we had an appointment in the city and did many errands as well as a couple of fun things which took all day.  We arrived home exhausted and were happy to be here, mess and all. 

     I have learned that putting too many things on my plate, even if they are good, fun things that I want us to do results in me feeling exhausted, cranky, and anything but peaceful.  Our decision this fall to scale back and be home more was a good decision.  Even as my heart twinges at the things the girls are missing out on this fall/winter/spring in a moment it is gone and it swells with joy as I listen to them enjoying simple things like going outside to play.  It's good to simply Be Still and know that He is God.  

     I think that is probably the theme for this year.  It seems like every year God has put a theme on my heart, for two years I sat at Get Wisdom, Get Understanding.  This year I think he's telling me to slow down, sit still and just know.

     One of my goals for the year is to daily read scripture.  I've already missed and we're six days in, but that brings me to the second theme of the year.  The one that came initially.  Don't Give Up.  I quit so easily, sigh, shrug, feel horrid that I failed again.  This year as I think I said in an earlier blog I'm going to work on just getting back up and going again.   Kinda funny actually when I think about it.  Sit still, then get back up and try again. 

   For the moment now though, I am sitting with my favorite mug filled with a new favorite coffee and just being content and thankful to be here right now.  Thankful to have my girls happily playing outside in the snow.  Thankful to have an opportunity to be quiet.  Thankful to be at the start of a new year.  Thankful for food to eat, coffee to drink, and clothes to wear.  Thankful for an upcoming weekend in the city. My heart jumps and I smile just thinking about that one.  Thankful for friends that I can trust and who enjoy my girls.  Thankful for a few more months with treasured friends before they move on to a new stage of life.  Thankful.
    
   
    


     

Anew

Beginnings are things that excite me.  I like the freshness, the possibilities that "new" brings.  Sometimes I am terrified also, but generally I like beginnings very much.  Today finds us at the beginning of a new month, a new year, and a new decade.  I want very much to have 2011 be the year of beginning anew.

I could fill this post with my goals and desires for this year, but really you could just go back and read what I've written over the last few and they are much the same.  I'm just starting anew.  Again.  And my goal is to keep going.  To this year make it through the year and look back to see that I did well. 

Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.  I'm ready to begin 2011 anew.