Working

I've applied for a job at a local hotel. Did I mention that already? Well, I did. And I thought they weren't going to call me because they didn't the morning after. :p Well, they called this morning. I have an interview tomorrow at 5:30. They know I'm not available days. We'll see how it goes.

I know that there really is no other option other than a miracle. And as I've stated otherwise, sitting on my bum waiting for a miracle isn't helping things. The faster I take action the faster things will improve.

I calculated it out and if they really do hire me and really do give 25 hours a week. I would be making just over $1000 a month. Part of me cringes because I know with Pampered Chef that was a possibility with less hours away from home, but then I don't want to do PC again and I would have to spend a lot of time on the phone which while, home, is still unavailable. Kwim?

My goal is for us to be out of debt by the end of 2009. That's a BIG goal. It's a scary goal, because in there is b'day's, Christmas, and a promised trip to Disney when B is 10. Thankfully she turns 11 in March, so we may be able to squeeze the trip in before her b'day and still be good. We want to pay cash for the holiday. It will be our first ever holiday as a family. :) Something really positive to look forward to!

The nitty gritty is H-A-R-D!! It's incredibly hard. I'm so excellent at spending our money $15-40 at a time. At the grocery store, at Walmart, on gifts, just because, etc. I scare me. Christmas scares me. At this moment I don't know how on earth we'll do it. If I get the job at least I can breathe knowing that we can pay the bills and buy gifts!

I have to be honest with you. I'd really like a miracle. God has provided for us time and time again. I'd really like him to do that in a big way and get us out of this mess. But as much as I want that I know it's not what is really best for us. What's best for me. I need to learn this. I need to sweat and cry to pay off the money I've already spent. I need to know this to the depths of my soul, debt is wrong. Borrowing is not biblical. Giving is. I can not give because I have borrowed that equals sin. I am ashamed. But I have hope.

God has brought the Dave Ramsey ministry to us. We are agreed about doing this and I am willing to work, despite my hearts desire to stay home. Despite my fears. That's all.