Yesterday in the kitchen.
Dd: Mom, why do some girls like Hannah Montana?
Mom: Because she's famous and kind of pretty, and she looks fun.
Dd : Oh.. . . . I don't really like her.
Mom: No, and that's okay. I don't either. I don't think she's a good role model.
Dd: What's a role model?
Mom: A role model is someone you look up to and want to be like, someone you model your life after.
Dd: Mom, you're my role model. I want to grow up and be like you.
Mom: *stops and takes a deep breathe* Thank you sweetie. I will do my best to be a good role model for you.
Daughter hugs mom tight and then goes to play.
I knew when I had babies that they would grow up. I knew this. In my head I understood. But my heart? My heart is just now catching up to reality and it takes my breath away. My little one. The one who not so very long ago learned to walk, then talk, then ride a bike without training wheels, then write her name, now bakes, and plays guitar and is thinking about who she is and who she wants to be. I've had eleven years with her as my little girl and those minutes left are ticking down faster than I ever dreamed. I can feel them slipping away like water through my hands.
She's lovely. Her heart is lovely. She is reading through the Bible on her own. She understands it and applies it to her life. She is a person without me. I'm doing my job and getting her ready to be a woman, a mom, a wife. I'm teaching her to care for a home, to love her husband by loving her daddy the best I know how. This is a bittersweet journey. There are moments when I see who she will be peaking out through the child she still is. There are giggles and silliness along with moments of maturity.
It's not about me. And yet it is. Because who I am now influences who she is and who she becomes. By God's grace may I be the example she needs. May she see the good and forgive the bad. May I find the strength and courage to be who she needs me to be in these last years of her maturing. May God be glorified!