Is There Something I Should Be Doing?

  It is nearly 11 a.m. on my third day of having the house to myself.  I have this nagging sense that there is something I should be doing.  Considering my former post that has me kinda chuckling.  I know there is not.  Not really.  I have the music on just a bit too loud.  I've cleaned the fridge, started on the girls room, and even ate breakfast.  I don't have to do anything today I don't want to do. Not one thing!

  Yesterday I worked incredibly hard for the morning hours going full out until noon.  I accomplished so much and am quite pleased with how things are shaping up around here.  Maybe my sense today is more that the time is slipping away.  Newsboys are singing Jesus Freak to me right now and perhaps that has triggered the old Time Is Slipping Away lyrics in my head (DC Talk).  It's kinda odd to hear Michael's voice and yet not Toby and Kevin's singing Jesus Freak.  Ah, now we're on to Rachmaninoff.  That'll change the mood a bit.  I do love having my music on and no competition from the girls for theirs.  They don't tolerate some of mine very well.

  One of my goals for today is to work on my youngest girls room.  I'm feeling slightly rebellious at the moment because I just cleaned it top to bottom at the beginning of June and as it is only mid July I am disgruntled to find it nearly back to it's original state of disaster.  GRRR!!  So instead of working hard on it today and being the Cleaning Fairy I am going to hold out and have my youngest, the MESSY ONE work on it after camp this afternoon.  She will whine, complain, moan, and likely even go limp while bursting into tears at the utter unfairness of her life. 

I might do it right back at her!! 

  Living in a tourist area has some pretty annoying things about it but one completely wonderful thing is our lovely downtown area.  We have some really neat shops, botiques and places to eat.  Ciboulette Et Cie is one of my top choices when I'd like a treat that is delicious and also just wonderful for being local, creative, and different.  My mouth is watering just thinking of their offerings.  I believe I may take a stroll downtown this afternoon.  I could go for  Chickpea Salad sandwhich for lunch. YUM!!

  This afternoon I'd like to organize my homeschool supplies a bit and put away the Sonlight books from last year to make room for the Sonlight 7 books for this year. My oldest is beginning Grade 7!  The thought takes my breath away.  Seventh grade! She is lovely.  Her heart, her kindness, her desire to please and help and honor God reflects true beauty.  Her smile melts me.  I catch glimpses now and then of the woman she will be and look forward to her. 

  Sometimes it takes going away to realize what you have.  This week of the year when the girls are all occupied other places instead of home with me gives me that gift.  I appreciate the quiet. I adore the tidy staying tidy.  I miss their voices.  I miss their hugs.  I miss them.  That is a good thing.  There is nothing I should be doing today but there is much I am doing.  Namely being thankful. 

What are you thankful for today?

Conversations with my daughter.

Yesterday in the kitchen.

Dd: Mom, why do some girls like Hannah Montana?
Mom: Because she's famous and kind of pretty, and she looks fun.
Dd : Oh.. . . .   I don't really like her.
Mom: No, and that's okay.  I don't either. I don't think she's a good role model.
Dd:  What's a role model?
Mom:  A role model is someone you look up to and want to be like, someone you model your life after.
Dd:  Mom, you're my role model.  I want to grow up and be like you.
Mom:  *stops and takes a deep breathe* Thank you sweetie.  I will do my best to be a good role model for you.
Daughter hugs mom tight and then goes to play.

I knew when I had babies that they would grow up.  I knew this.  In my head I understood.  But my heart?  My heart is just now catching up to reality and it takes my breath away.  My little one.  The one who not so very long ago learned to walk, then talk, then ride a bike without training wheels, then write her name, now bakes, and plays guitar and is thinking about who she is and who she wants to be. I've had eleven years with her as my little girl and those minutes left are ticking down faster than I ever dreamed.  I can feel them slipping away like water through my hands. 

She's lovely.  Her heart is lovely.  She is reading through the Bible on her own.  She understands it and applies it to her life.  She is a person without me.  I'm doing my job and getting her ready to be a woman, a mom, a wife.  I'm teaching her to care for a home, to love her husband by loving her daddy the best I know how.  This is a bittersweet journey.  There are moments when I see who she will be peaking out through the child she still is.  There are giggles and silliness along with moments of maturity. 

It's not about me.  And yet it is.  Because who I am now influences who she is and who she becomes.  By God's grace may I be the example she needs.  May she see the good and forgive the bad.  May I find the strength and courage to be who she needs me to be in these last years of her maturing.  May God be glorified!