There are moments when the superfluous extras in life swirl to gray and the immortal truth of mortal life becomes crystal clear. Moments when the heart stops and holds still before rushing on while you gasp for breath and struggle to hold onto what is true. These are the moments that forever after you look back on think, "I remember when, and I'm so thankful now."
Sunday, my husband calmly told me that my dad had been in a motorcycle accident. Life focused at that moment and the most important need became the words he would say next. "He's ok. They think. Your mom is taking him to the hospital." I took a deep breath, then another and another. I knew perfectly well that I am helpless here. I can't rush to his side and be there to wait in the hospital and know he's ok. So I prayed asking God to let him please, please be ok. Then I took another deep breath and we continued to Walmart.
Yep, Walmart. Funny how quickly the boring every day details still need taken care of even when you very much want it to stop. I smiled as I read my girls shopping lists, deciphering a few words and feeling proud of the one who spelled "raisin bread" properly! Laughed at the idea of a Barbie doll being a grocery need. And I put a bottle of orange pop in the cart, simply because I could, and they are my children, I love them and it was something small I could do.
Then we came home to wait. And wait. Then wait some more. It was just a couple of hours but it felt like too long. I forgot to pray for a little while and started to crave food, any food in massive quantities. While standing at the cupboard I remembered that this is not what I want to do. Food is not my drug, it is not my god, it is simply food. So I stood and prayed again. I asked some friends to pray too. Amazing how quickly communication started after I remembered to do that.
I did eat. I ate frozen yogurt. Totally within my plan, although a bigger portion than I would've chosen to eat on a regular day. But still, it was ok. It wasn't too much in a big way. And I prayed again thanking God that he really IS going to be ok.
So as I sit here today and listen to my husband talk to my dad, listen to him joke about how now dad's ruined it for him to ride a motorcycle, I am thankful. I am thankful for motorcycle helmuts. I am thankful for Carhart jackets, cold weather that required multiple layers of clothing, and thankful for life. I'm thankful that today I still have a dad. There are two young men in our community whose dad chose to take his life yesterday and my heart breaks for them. For the man's wife as well. And again, I am thankful for my husband and for this day.
In everything give thanks for THIS IS the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.