I had a dream

I had a dream, a vision for our family before I married.  I wanted our home to be the place the kids loved to come.  I envisioned a room big enough for a television for movies, maybe a pool table. A stable maybe with a couple of horses, a basketball net with a slab of concrete and lines painted on.  A fun place to be.

I had a dream of a church where people knew our names, our first names.  Knew us and we knew them.  Where I knew if someone was hurting and could send them a card or stop for a visit.  I'd hear if someone were sick and could take them a meal.  Of a church where they preached God's love, and His word and Sunday mornings especially were dedicated to worshipping Him.  A church that had meals together, spent time together, cried together, laughed together, lived as the body of christ. 

I had a dream for my children of friends for them.  A dream of a best friend for each of them. Someone to talk to and confide in to encourage them.  A friend who loves God the way they do and is the iron to their iron sharpening each other. 

I have a home. I have children.  They have friends.  But none of those dreams have become reality. Sometimes, reality just sucks.  I feel like venting here and letting all the vile things in my head and chest out right now but I'm repressing it. 

I have a higher standard than most people do. That's just the truth of it.  When it comes to my kids and what I want for them my goals, visions, ideas of what is right and good for them are not running parallel to culture, and YEP I mean Christians in that statement because to tell you the truth I do not see a difference anymore worth mentioning between most "christians" and those who have never claimed to be one.