I was thinking about salvation this morning while showering. Thinking of the circular theological arguments: faith by works, and faith equals works. Faith without works is dead. Yet, it is by faith and not by works that we are saved. It is not of ourselves. It is a gift. NO ONE can boast.
It occurred to me that I don't boast, but neither do I truly accept it is as a gift with no strings. I know that I can't do it, I can't earn it. But in the secret places I believe that because I believe, I have to be perfect. I can't fail. I know I'm called to be perfect as HE is perfect. The reality in me is when I can't reach perfection, I quit. I always quit. (I'm quitting quitting this year.) Yet that's not exactly what His word says. It does say be perfect as He is perfect, but it also says His strength is made perfect in my weakness. If I could do it perfectly on my own I wouldn't need Him. Did you follow me there? I know I can be circular in reasoning too.
Once again this morning, while naked and vulnerable, it hit me that it: forgiveness and salvation, is a gift and I have done absolutely nothing to deserve it, nor can I do anything to repay Him for it and equal his gift. I am at His mercy, in His debt and nothing can ever take that away from me. It is a gift and it's all mine. Not only can nothing take it away, there's nothing I can fail that will mean He removes it from me. I'm forgiven.
Casting Crowns has a song that I woke up hearing in my head, Glorious Day. The chorus lyrics flow from my heart. Living, He loved me. Dying, He saved me. Buried, He carried my sins far away. Rising, He justified freely forever. Someday He's coming, Oh Glorious Day!
Here's a youtube link if you want listen: