Here We Go Again

There are three major sins in my life I don't know if I will ever have victory over.  I've spent the last few days reading The Screwtape Letters and once again they spoke to me.  These things I struggle with are sin.  Pure and simple, basic and evil.  I am a child of God.  I am not tied to my sin any longer.  Jesus died on the cross to set me free from these sins!! So why am I still struggling with them?  Can and will God use them to strengthen me?  Is it possible that instead of considering them something that defeats me they could possibly be tools in use to strengthen me?

My weight. I've thought I was fat for most of my life, since about the age of 15.  I've only truly been overweight for the last ten.  I've lost 40lbs and gained it all back with friends.  It's to the point where my youngest has asked me if I'm having a baby and when I told her no she told me she was pretty sure I was because my tummy was so big.  Ouch.  She also told me yesterday that she likes me when I'm smaller. Worse yet, my girls are growing up knowing and watching me struggle with food!! This is important! 

Taking care of the body God has given me is important! Enjoying the food he created but not being a glutton is important.  Teaching my girls to eat healthy foods that fuel their body rather than junk foods that wear it down.  This is important too.

Spending.  The Proverbs are filled with cautions about getting wisdom, getting understanding.  They warn again and against being foolish.  And the last one talks about a wife.  The one verse that really gets me talks about how she will do him good and not evil all the days of his life.  I want that to be ME! 

Pride.  Pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall.  There are so many ways I am prideful.  So many various little veins of pride that need squashing!   From my home, to my children, my spirituality (seriously?!), and my abilities, it's embarrassing and I'm not going to go into detail.  Suffice it to say I know that these are issues and I hope you will forgive me for not confessing them in detail. 

I said three, but there's more. Greed and envy.  These two go hand in hand.  I want to be content.  I want to be thankful for what I have.  I want to rejoice for those who are blessed, for those who have lovely things! Instead too often I feel jealous and want pretty, expensive, lovely, more too!  It doesn't make it okay to want it too.  It's still a sin. 

Laziness.  Yikes.  Another embarrassing one.  This is one I am tackling now along with clutter and messiness which do go along with that.  I've come a long way but I've got a long way to go too.  Again, this is critical for me to teach my children. Or rather, teaching them to NOT be lazy is critical. 

Reading The Screwtape Letters along with a portion from a book by Elisabeth Eliot has motivated me to do something about these things.  To not try to ignore them or forget them or just whine about them even if the whining is to myself. 

Back in November I started with Sparkpeople.com and loved it.  I'm back from vacation and back on to the site.  Except today I was lazy and didn't exercise.  Tomorrow I will!  I also relaxed and ate junk. Again. *sigh*  Please, Lord, tomorrow I will do better. 

Two years ago Tim and I started reading Dave Ramsey and agreed to use his principles.  Well, two years later we're going to start again.  I have started.  Budget is made.  Money is allocated to specific places, purposes.  Boring, scary, but done. 

I've rejoined Flylady and started the day with a shiney sink today.  I also checked out character training by Character First and talked with the girls about Orderliness today.  It's our theme for the month.  I along with them will be choosing some goals, and working on implementing good habits. 

If you've read this far, thank you!  That's pretty much it.  I'm exhausted now and ready to sleep.  Goodnight.